FIC, Mibu-Times/Dispatch,Pt 2/11, RK, PMK, Shinsengumi, Kenshin, PG

Title: Mibu Times-Dispatch

Author:BarbaraSheridan (with much assistance from Miss Behavin)

E-mail:

Source:RK/PMK

Main character(s): Entire Shinsengumi

General Rating: PG-13

Warning: Implied sexual situations some may be m/m

Disclaimer: The versions of these characters belong to their creators
Nobuhiro Watsuki and Nanae Kurono

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Vol 2

I would like to take a moment to remind the good citizenry of Kyoto to
please use caution when trying to gain admittance to the Shinsengumi
Headquarters. Our squad leaders and members are very diligent about
answering calls for assistance and reports of crimes and they may not
always be able to see you loitering outside the front gate (especially
if your height falls below that of their waist).

While our members take every effort to proceed with caution when
answering an urgent call sometimes accidents do happen and civilians
might be injured, however slightly. Should something like this occur to
you or someone you know please do not hesitate to file a report with our
insurance claims division in Aizu.

Yamanami Keisuke

Editor-in-Chief Mibu Times/Dispatch

2nd Vice-Chief, Shinsengumi

# # # # # # #

Dear Editor:

I am writing in regards to an article in your last issue. The article in
question concerned an alleged runaway by the name of Himura Shinta a/k/a
"Kenni". I wish to assure this newspaper and your readers that young
Himura is by no means a runaway. The boy in question is in fact seeking
refuge with my extended family after being severely mistreated by his
abusive, sake addicted adoptive father, who tried to keep him a prisoner
in a secluded mountain retreat.

Kenni is currently in my employ (part time of course considering his
tender age) as a page and spends much of his time studying kendo and the
shamisen under the tutelage of an old family friend Sensei Takasugi.

Sincerely,

Katsura K.

# # # # # # # # # #

Local News

The Fifth Unit under the command of Captain Takeda Kanryuusai was
ambused late Sunday evening while on routine patrol. Witnesses report
that twenty squad members were killed by a single assailant alleged to
be the reputed serial killer Hitokiri Battousai.

While this reporter finds it hard to believe that twenty of our elite
troops could be killed by a single man we are investigating each and
every lead. Citizens are encouraged to some forth with any information
no matter how insignificant it may seem.

# # # # # # # #

Employment Notice:

The Shinsengumi currently have openings for twenty (20) men skilled in
sword handling and general law enforcement duties. Quick reflexes
required, good personal hygiene and basic attractiveness encouraged.

Apply to: Takeda Kanryuusai, Capt. 5th Unit

# # # # # # #

Important Notice From the Vice-Chief:

I found pig droppings in my futon. NO animals will be allowed inside my
quarters from now on, regardless of Who they belong to.

-Hijikata

# # # # # # #

Advertisement:

Morimoto's Soba Emporium and Sake Bar is now open 24 hours to better
serve the needs of Kyoto's third shift workers and public servants.

Inquire about our frequent customer discounts and delivery service.

# # # # # # #

New Column:

Hello and welcome to the first installment of "Ask Ayu-nee"----the
Column that Cares. I am Yamazaki Ayumu a long time Kyoto resident and
current barracks cook for those wonderful brave men of the Shinsengumi.

Yamanami-san asked me to do this column as it seemed people were always
wandering into my kitchen and asking for advice on one thing or another.
Please feel free to write me about whatever is bothering you and I'll do
my best to help.

Let's start with the mail that's arrived so far...

Dear Ayu-nee,

I have a strange fascination with my sister's clothes. I can't get
enough of wearing them, ,luckily I've managed to incorporate my hobby
seamlessly into my daily job but I'm afraid that might change
soon when I go on the night shift and have to wear a dull black( no
yummy silk components involved) uniform. Can you offer any advice?

---Nobody's brother.

Dear Brother--

I strongly suggest that you find some other way to enjoy your hobby because
sisters do not like going to pick their favorite pink kimono for a date
with a certain dashing eighth squad captain only to find that it has
questionable stiff, dried stains below the waist!

Dear Ayu-nee

All of my men are Ahous. What should I do?

-----WolfMan

Dear Wolfie:

Ahou Soku Zan.

Dear Ayu-nee

I run an elite group of samurai. I trained most of them. but I find I
get no one's respect. They treat me like a kindly old man when I'm not
much older than they are. What should I do?

-Big Boss

Dear Boss:

I don't wish to be cruel but this sounds to me like a situation of your
own making. Do you defer judgment to your second in command? Do you
arrange outings and harmless recreational activities for the men much
like a friend would do or do you rule them with an iron fist no matter what?

I think you can turn this situation around but it won't be easy. You may
have to resort to tough love and that means Seppuku----For Them! (except
maybe for certain third and eight squad leaders)

Dear Ayu-nee

I am currently employed by an independant security firm here in Kyoto.
Part of my duties include repelling certain competitors of my employer
but a fanatical government sponsored faction keeps getting in my way.

How can I get them to leave me alone and let me do my friggin Job?! To
be honest we are both working towards the same goal but looking at the
matter from different perspectives.

-Red

Dear Red,

I've always been fond of the kindness kills approach,

be friendly to your opponents, invite them out for a cup of sake (well
maybe not the tall ones with the narrow eyes), be a pal, make them see
how alike you are and how much your job means to you. I'm sure with a
little give and take on both sides you'll find common ground eventually.

# # # # # # #

Notice:

Meeting of Shinsengumi financial committee has been moved up to this
Friday morning to discuss excessive amount of company funds spent on
sword sharpening equipment.

----Hijikata

Local News:

There was a break-in last night at the Mitsubishi warehouse complex in
the city's south end. The investigating unit fell that the burglar must
have been a youth or small statured adult as the means of entry was a
narrow window in the building housing stock slated to be delivered to
Keyaki's Womenswear and Cosmetics Outlet.

A quick inventory showed that the burglar attempted to make off with
numerous cases of White Plum Perfume but only managed to get a few
bottles. Most of the merchandise was recovered a short distance away
though one of the cases was damaged causing some of the contents to
spill on the investing unit's caption one Saitou Hajime.

# # # # # # #

Other Local News

A number of Shinsengumi members of the Third Unit were officially
reprimanded for verbally harassing their direct superior by "making
jokes" about his "Smelling as fresh as a just picked white plum".

Coincidentally that night a fire broke out in the barracks housing the
men of the Third Unit. An anonymous witness reported seeing a black
clad man hurrying from the scene muttering "The heat will kill them...."

Further official investigation is pending.

# # # # # # # # #

Dear Ayu-nee,

I relocated to Kyoto following the death of my fiancé at the hands of an
unknown mugger. I'm a girl used to nice surroundings and the finer
things in life but since coming here the only job I could find was as a
*groan*

maid to a bunch of smelly swordsmen at a small futon and breakfast.

As if that isn't demeaning enough now I'm being told I have to babysit a
fifteen year old kid to keep him off the streets and out of trouble.
This is worse than having to look after my obnoxious little brother! Help!

----Plum Crazy in Kyoto

Dear Plum

We all go through frustrating times in our lives. This kid might not be
all that bad once you get to know him. My advice is to just grit your
teeth, go along with your boss's wishes, and try to make the most of
it! And don't jump in front of any swords no matter how trying it gets!





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